Monday, January 29, 2007

Learning Resolutions~

Nina Aaltonen
Block H-Writing
January 25, 2007

My Learning Resolutions
Standard 1
Goal 1: I want to be able to look at my work from a different point of view such as being the audience of my own work. Because I’m the one that wrote it, I feel like I don’t have anything to fix.

Method: I should ask for checklists from the teacher when revising my own work so I could think outside of the box and to help me think more openly so I could easily spot out places I need to fix.


Standard 2
Goal 2: In my writing, I want to be able to use different lengths of sentences (sometimes short and sometimes long) while all my sentences flow smoothly to the next one instead of being choppy.

Method: When revising my work, I should highlight every other sentence with a highlighter so that the lengths will stand out. Then I should take some sentences and see if there are better ways to write those sentences which will also help varying the lengths.


Standard 3
Goal 3: I want to improve on picking the right, colorful but not cheesy adjectives to make my work more interesting because I think that sometimes my nouns seem so plain and general. I need to describe these nouns with adjectives so that the audience could picture what I’m talking about.

Method: I should have a thesaurus and a dictionary with me when I write so I could look up words to use. I should also improve my vocabulary by studying and reading more books.


Standard 4
Goal 4: I want to fix my habit of scanning too fast. Because I’m usually in a hurry, I scan so fast that I have to go back and read it all over again.

Method: I need to make a list of questions and points I should look for while reading something. That way, I will slow down when I read and will look deeply into the information.


Traits
Goal 5: I want to improve on my word choice. Sometimes my descriptive words aren’t accurate or it doesn’t fit the subject. I also need to use more variety of adjectives/adverbs.

Method: When I write, I should just write using simple words first. Then use a thesaurus to find more colorful and advanced words to replace the dull and simple ones.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Poetry Portfolio

DEDICATION PAGE

For the Aaltonens, who supported me throughout my life.

For Miss Johnson, my fabulous writing teacher, who helped me come this far as a writer.

For my wonderful editors, Jean and Christina, who made my poems publishable.



PREFCACE

Note from the Author

My most inspired work comes when I usually lie on my bed letting my mind wander anywhere and my ideas flow on and on. I can go into detail and look for specific thoughts that I could work with in my writing. Ideas flow in and out of my head while I check and categorize the ideas as good, bad, funny, interesting, scary, mysterious, etc. I tend to get more fascinating ideas when I rest or relax because the more relaxed I am, I can think more broadly, resulting in more different and wide variety of ideas to come through my head.
Things that inspire me the most would probably be…nature. Nature is just so amazing, in how everything is created so perfectly and balanced. It is so incredible in how the ecosystem and the environment is fit for every living thing on earth. There are so many aspects of nature and it contains unlimited amount of elements.
Events that inspire me the most would probably be when it snows, when it rains, when the wind blows through the trees, and when the sun is shining down on me. These events might be pretty small, but it can be so powerful containing deep emotions, creating passion to move my soul. It seems like for a second, that I glimpsed something that is untouchable. When everybody of this harsh world is trying to have control over everything, these events that are happening everyday in our life, events that no one really pays much attention to, shows the right of nature and originality—God’s creation.
Person who inspired me the most would probably be God. He created this world, with the perfect, balanced, nature which really gets me thinking. Most of the times, my thoughts about Him and his creation is what makes me keep on writing. I feel like sometimes I could reach the truth, or at least further than the prejudices that builds a wall between us and Him when I keep on writing. I feel something likes trust building within me with God when I write.
In the writing process, I value ideas the most. Without ideas, you can’t get anywhere with your writing. Ideas give you a start and from there you can branch out, explaining in detail and supporting your main idea. Also, the idea is the center—without a good idea, your writing won’t be interesting, resulting in your audience getting bored and just throwing away your piece of writing. Ideas are always important, and for me, the most valuable part of the writing process.
Throughout this semester, I have learned so much in writing class. I learned about ideas, organization, voice, word choice, and conventions. As we learned from one trait to another, the only thing my writing did was get better and better. The knowledge of these five traits helped me to write better quality work—focused, well-planned, understandable, interesting, etc.


SOUND POEM
High School Students

School

Students chattering
Feet shuffling
Pens clattering
Papers ruffling

This is our school.

Hundreds of students
S W I S H
We pass one another
Too busy to even whisper “hi”
As we rampage down the hall


Slamming of lockers
Grinding of doors
The bell rings,
Sings out its music

Silence creeps over
As students go to classes
Halls are hollow
It’s too LOUD
The silence

Inside classroom:
Teachers shouting
Over our loud roars
Students pouting
As teachers punish us with work

Complaints!
Whines!
Cries~
Whimpers. . . .
All too common

Soon school ends
And the students cheer
Once again filling the halls
As they meet their friends

They fly across the hall
Down the stairs and up the stairs
As one runs to the arms of another
And embrace each other with tears

“Thank God it’s over!” one yells
“But there’s tomorrow!” the other wails
“Oh no!” both cry out
“Just go home!” the teachers shout

Laughter, cackle, chortle, snicker
Giggle, chuckle, snortle, titter
Mixed with the only language: Korean
It sounds quite bitter

The buzzing of murmurs,
Secrets and rumors
Everybody gossips
And the news flies around fast

Five minutes whiz by, then ten
Slowly we break apart
And sadly do we croak out our “Good Byes”
And “See You Tomorrows”

The next day same routine.

Students blathering
Feet scuffling
Pens clinking
Papers crumpling

This is our school.


NARRATIVE POEM
Young Atheletes

On the Field

Hair tied
Slick and back
Maybe hardened with gel

I stand out there
The sun blazing over our bodies
As we get ready for the next move

All are tense
Watching the ball as it flows from
One player to another

I get ready to leap!
And tackle
If I have to
Making sure the ball doesn’t go past me

The enemy is coming closer
Digging its own grave
I plant myself in front
Ready to take on anything

As soon as the opponent glides in front of me
I stick out my foot and tip the ball to my side

I take charge! Dribbling down the field
I could hear the shuffling of feet beside me
Trying their best to catch up

I pass the defenders
The goalie gets ready
But too late

I kick the ball with all my might
Aiming for the top left corner
Swish~ it hits the net
Shaking the whole goal

The goalie falls
THUD!
She punches the ground
She’s blaming it

My teammates come
All cheering me on
Because I broke the tie

The whistle blows
Like a sweet song for our team
But a shrilling threat,
And a baleful song
For the other

Our team celebrates
Let our spirits free
We are happy,
Happy indeed

For our victory!



PROCESS POEM
Kindergarteners

How to Eat Vegetables

Grab many at once; maybe a handful?
Carrots, celery, cucumber, everything
Stuff them in your mouth
And feel the soggy texture.

Scrunch your nose
Cringe your face
Shut your eyes
Hold your nose
And then chew. . .
Chew. . . .and chew. . .

Think about playing with friends
Rolling with your dog
Swinging on swings
All the while chew. . . chew. . .chew. .

Think about the colorful playground
You play on every day
The snacks you get to eat
The TV show: Sesame Street
All the while chew. . chew. . chew. .

Now stop! Stay still! And concentrate!
Collect the bits and pieces
Make a pile on your tongue
Swallow all at once
Do
Not
Choke.

Drink a glass of orange juice
To vanish the after taste
Tell your mom
You’re done
And
Run
Away!


PANTOUM
Young Women

Coming of Christmas

Look over there, it’s coming
The beginning of Christmas, how lovely
It wanders around, roaming
Arriving here, slowly

The beginning of Christmas, how lovely
It carries white, fluffy snow
Arriving here, slowly
While we stand under the mistletoe

It carries white, fluffy snow
Gigantic and small green trees
While we stand under the mistletoe
Oh! I hope everybody sees

Gigantic and small green trees
With angels, stars, and shining light
Oh! I hope everybody sees
It is beautiful and bright

With angels, stars, and shining light
It wanders around, roaming
It is beautiful and bright
Look over there, it’s coming


CONCRETE POEM
Kindergarteners

Mysterious Star


A
glow
in the
d ay r k
starry sky
starry night
small and B I G
shine shine shine shine shine shine shine shine shine shine shine
bright bright bright bright b r i g h t bright bright bright
twinkle sparkle t I n g l e twinkle sparkle t I n g l e
light light faraway bright bright this way
blac black dark black dark black black
can’t see can’t see can’t see can’ tsee
disappears appears!!!disappears fades
gone gone gone SNAP!! back back back
bright bright brightstarbright bright bright
light light lightstarstarstarstarlight light light
glow glowstarstarstarstarstarstarstarglow glow
a starstarstarstarstarstarstarstarstarstastara star
starstarstarstarstarstarstarstarstarstarstarstarsstar


SELF-ASSESSMENTS

MYSTERIOUS STAR

I wrote a concrete poem called “Mysterious Star.” Like a concrete poem should, it shows a picture of the topic of my poem. My shape is very crisp, meaning, it is well-formed or well-shaped. It is definitely inevitable that my shape is a star with five points and congruent sides. I think that my message of this poem is clear and concise. My title states that the star I’m talking about in my poem is mysterious. Well, throughout my poem, I give reasons why, completing my task about staying on my topic and explaining it to my audience.
My poem is easy to summarize and the main idea/thesis is easy to identify. It is well-defined, giving the piece a strong sense of direction. The words and short phrases I used within this poem support the main idea/thesis. I tried creating a bit of suspense within my words to give my text a more mysterious feeling (e.g. “black. . dark.” and “can’t see…)
I don’t think there are any errors in this poem, or even though there were a few, none are serious or affects the clarity of my message of the poem. Citations are not needed, and the presentation has eye appeal and highlights key information. The organizational suits the genre, topic, and purpose ideally. The structure guides the reader through the piece and showcases main ideas. Elements within the piece are creatively arranged to promote understanding. The pacing of this poem is just right. The opening is appealing and functional and the ending wraps up the discussion.
I think that this paper stands out from the others. You might share it aloud. The writing is clear and original and the words are used accurately. The language is well suited to the writer’s purpose and audience. I think I achieved a strong, consistent sense of balance. The modifiers support meaning, voice and imagery, but they are never overdone. I clearly know what I’m talking about was self-assured when I was writing this poem. My curiosity keeps my audience/readers reading. The voice used for this poem is appropriate for the audience and purpose. I think that I did fairly well writing this poem and that this poem is virtually ready to be published.
ON THE FIELD

I wrote a narrative poem called “On the Field.” This poem is a showcase of one of my soccer games I have played previously. As a narrative poem should, it talks about one event, and tells the story about this event. The message of this poem is clear, focused, and concise. My poem is easy to summarize and it shows my in-depth understanding of the topic. The main idea/thesis is east to identify because the details and descriptions I used support my main idea. The result is satisfying, answering the reader’s questions thoroughly and well.
A few errors are noticeable if you look closely, but none affect the clarity of my message. I show control over numerous conventions, particularly the basics (easy spelling, end punctuation, basic capitalization, simple stanzas). However, I need to separate my stanzas into smaller ones to make the poem more clear and understandable. Citations are not needed. The organizational pattern is appropriate for the genre, topic, and purpose. The structure makes the story easy to follow and the main ideas stand out. Elements within the piece are effectively arranged to promote understanding. Pacing is appropriate, meaning, I give extra time to complex or technical issues. Transitions connect ideas clearly, making the piece understandable and coherent. The opening is appealing and functional and the ending wraps up the discussion.
This paper stands out from others. It shows a balance between honesty and passion and courteous restraint. I clearly know the topic well and I was self-assured when I wrote this poem. My enthusiasm keeps my audience reading. The voice I used for this poem is appropriate for the audience and purpose. Words used in this poem are generally used accurately. The language is well suited to the writer’s purpose and audience. The phrasing is lively and the writing is generally balanced. However, I need to re-word or re-phrase few parts of my stanzas to make my writing clearer and less vague. Some phrases make an interesting part boring, so I have to change that too. Generally, I think that this poem is pretty well-written and is ready to be published after some corrections.
HOW TO EAT VEGETABLES

I wrote a process poem called “How to Eat Vegetables.” The message of this poem is clear and focused. My title is not confusing, whereas to say that it pinpoints the exact idea: How to Eat Vegetables. Throughout this poem, I do not flow onto a different topic but clearly explain only how to eat vegetables in an easier way. This poem is directed to young children, specifically kindergarteners, because that is the age when you hate to eat any kind of vegetables.
There are a few errors in this poem, including spelling mistake and capitalization, but none of them affect the clarity of my message of my poem. I show control over numerous conventions, particularly basics (easy spelling, end punctuation, basic capitalization, and simple stanzas). Citations are not needed for this poem and the presentation has eye appeal and highlights key information. The organizational pattern is ideally suited to the gene, topic, and purpose. The structure makes the discussion or story easy to follow, meaning, the poem isn’t confusing and leads the reader/audience to my main point and lets them understand it easily. Elements within the piece are creatively arranged to promote understanding.
I know the topic in-depth and I was self-assured when writing this poem because I’ve personally experienced this struggle and went through this hard phase. I think I have showed enough enthusiasm to keep the readers reading and make the poem fun so that my specific audience (kindergarteners) would be interested in it. My poem and the voice I used for this poem is appropriate for my audience. My poem is clear, original, and precise. The language is well suited to the writer’s purpose and audience. The writing is generally balance, not inflated or simplistic, meaning I did not exaggerate too much making the process shown in the poem impossible. Instead, I used fun, descriptive words to make the poem interesting and still possible to do/act out in reality. However, I think I needed to be a bit more specific. Little kids have a wild imagination and could fall in a different direction anytime. So, to prevent my audience to accidentally falling in a different direction, I should be more specific and narrow down all the possibilities. Overall, I think I did pretty well with the poem and I think that this piece is ready to be published with minor tough-ups.

Definition Essay

DEFINITION ESSAY

Have you ever had a time when a friend asked your opinion about her clothes she recently bought, the new hairstyle she got or put on make-up for the first time? Even though the thought of “Ew. How ugly,” or “It just does not match. It is so not her” is flowing through your mind, you end up saying “Oh~! How cute and pretty!” “How lovely and adorable!”, or even “Oooh~! You look so hot!” Why would you say such a thing that is not true? A lie? It is so that you do not hurt your friend’s feelings. But then, you are not being honest. You are being a disgusting liar. Do you honestly think that is the right and the best way for your friend? Be honest.
No one ever said that being honest is easy. The truth is, it’s not. Honesty is something really hard for us, humans, to fulfill in. Being honest or dishonest could bring harm, complications, and difficulties in any situation, anytime, and in any way. The result that is brought by the act of being honest or dishonest makes one confused. In a situation like the one I have mentioned above, you do not know whether to be honest and maybe hurt your friend’s feelings; or be a worthless liar and let your friend have false happiness until somebody else tells her the truth. It is a tough choice. But be honest.
Honesty is being fair and sincere by using courage. It is beautiful, especially because you have to put in everything—your courage and braveness, effort and sweat, thoughts and consideration. It probably takes all the braveness and boldness that you can offer. The book She Said Yes shows a very deep implication on “honesty”. The book is about a normal high school girl named Cassie Bernall. It was an ordinary day when suddenly two of her classmates held her and her friends as hostages threatening with weapons. The two classmates asked Cassie if she was a Christian, and she said “Yes.” Then they murdered her. Even though Cassie knew what was coming up, she didn’t lie. She stood up for her faith and was honest about it. She told the truth and died for it. This is the “real” honesty. The honesty not a lot of us can reach and success in. The level of honesty in which we still have a lot more to learn about. It is just so beautiful and amazing at what it could result in. It touches your heart and blinds your eyes. Honesty might not always bring what you want, but still, believe in honesty.
Freedom from deceit and fraud. That is honesty. When you are not being honest, you are building your guilt and sin. Honesty can not be false. It is one and only—truth. Think about it: would you want to trap yourself in a world of guilt, sin, falseness, and lies? Being dishonest to someone is also being dishonest to yourself. Is it worth it? Is it a reasonable excuse? No. We like to be free. That is human’s nature. If you are honest, it gives you freedom from maybe something which could be the most horrible and scariest thing in our mental world. Freshness and pureness is what we should possess and continue to have, not more sin and guilt building until it reaches the sky. Be honest.
“Honesty is such a lonely word~”. This is a verse from the song “Honesty” by Billy Joel. Do you think this verse is speaking the truth? No, not really. Being honest might be hard and difficult. It might separate you from the others and finally, make you lonely. But the true, deep meaning of honesty shines. The word itself is bright, and it shows off its goodness and righteousness. For the short term, it might bring you loneliness, but it is promised that it will bring you something great towards the end. So be honest.
Your friend asks, “How do I look in my new skirt?” What would you say? Tell the truth. You might not want to embarrass her but it is the best way out. Honesty, like I have mentioned before, is great. You end up receiving one of the best prizes you can get—responsibility and trust. Friends will trust you and so will family members, teachers, and other strangers, even. Honesty is the only way of showing fairness, integrity, truthfulness, and sincerity. So far, it is said that honesty is the best policy of life. So definitely be honest.








Citation
1. angelsky1@hotmail.com (Daniel). "Honesty Lyrics." 2002. Sing365.com. 18 Oct 2006 .
2. "Cassie Bernall: She Said Yes." Misty Bernall: She Said Yes. 2002. Good News Publisher. 18 Oct 2006 .








Process Essay

PROCESS ESSAY

Hungry for a delicious snack? Is your stomach craving for something warm, soft, and sweet? Tasty food with brown swirly paste and colorful jelly—Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich!!!
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich is what keeps a big gap between people and the death of starvation. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich is very simple and easy to make, but with all of the results of deliciousness, tastiness, and scrumptiousness. It only takes a few steps along with some of your craftiness. (Warning: people who are allergic to peanuts should not eat even though it sounds like a wonderful recipe)
Going the “thrilling” grocery shopping is the first step. You need to pick the right brand of peanut butter, jelly, and bread. After you pick the brand, you might want to choose what type, or kind, for each of these yummy substances. Creamy or chunky peanut butter? Strawberry, blueberry, grape, or cranberry jam? White or wheat, hard or soft bread? The grocery store usually gives you a lot of options, but it is all up to you whether you choose the right combination that fits you the best. I, personally, prefer Skippers creamy peanut butter with Smuckers strawberry jam, and white soft bread. Also, while you are at the grocery store, it won’t hurt to get some milk to go along with your wonderful snack you would be making soon.
Next, happily bring your groceries into your homey kitchen and get prepared to make your palatable snack. You have to get all the materials ready. Get a toaster if you want your bread toasted; if not, just make your sandwich with untoasted bread. Meanwhile, get the shiniest knife and spoon you can offer—ones where you can see your pretty reflection—and place it right next to your peanut butter and jelly on the counter. Oh! By the way, you might want to wash your hands before getting everything prepared because you surely don’t want to mess up the delicious snack. Finally, you should be ready to establish your quick, but tasty snack!
Get two slices of bread out for the first-run. With one slice placed on your left palm and the other slice on the counter, pick up the shiny knife with your right hand. Then submerse it into the smooth surface of the peanut butter, shattering it into waves of gooey paste. You may begin spreading the peanut butter with a pattern of left to right, right to left, and so on. Once you’re done spreading the peanut butter, on the slice of bread which should be on your left palm, perfectly and squarely, place it down gently, and pick up the next slice of bread that has been waiting for your touch. With your shiny and not demented spoon, scoop up a big spoonful of the thick, jiggly jam and dump it with intense care onto the bread. Again, spread it neatly with the knife.
Once you are done with the “effort-taking” spreading, get ready for some puzzle matching. It won’t be as good if you don’t follow this step closely. You have to be very careful and tense about this step. You have to match the breads together, but in a way where there is no extra bread sticking out. Everything should be equal. This makes the sandwich a whole lot tastier by making each of your bite varied of peanut butter, jelly, and bread.
With your perfect sandwich in your gentle hands, I bet you can’t wait to gobble the whole thing down. But wait! To make it taste even more delicious than it already is, smell it—take a deep breath as you would do before diving into a swimming pool. At last, you are allowed to ferociously devour the compelling, edible item. Just sit back and relax and finally enjoy your lovely snack!